Story Collection
by chaomi
Summary: A collection of random stories in the Tokyo Majin universe. Ch.2-6 summary: Due to an oni's "special" attack, everyone's in for a loopy ride. Random pairings.
1. Just the Usual

**Just the Usual**

An attempt on Tokyo Majin

Hinted Kyouichi x Komaki

_**Disclaimer:**__ The authoress doesn't own Tokyo Majin. Yeah...disclaimer. If I were the one who made this, I would definitely put Daigo x Komaki x Kyouichi love triangle._

A heated discussion between a pair of teenagers. Some would argue that the two bickering fellow looked like an old married couple but contrary to their opinions, they are just friends who hated each others' guts.

It was tiring listening to the two mock, tease and glare one another. Tatsuma Hiyuu, the reasonable one who loves strawberry milk, tried to interject. Unfortunately for him, he was mercilessly silence by the deadly glares the two arguing friends threw at him. He just sighed and looked at one of his companions, the beautiful Aoi Misato...the topic of the bickering pair.

Aoi looked at the two worried. She needed to distract them.

"OH! Look Kyouichi! Komaki! The sun is setting down! Isn't it beautiful?" Aoi smiled her best, seemingly distracting the two by her awe-striking form.

"Yes, Aoi-sama." Hisui, now dubbed Emo guy by the authoress, said while staring at the sky.

"Yeah. It's nice..." Tatsuma leaned back comfortingly on the soft grass while the biggest of our gang, Daigo, nodded appreciatively and stared lovingly at his Sakurai...

"Yeah..." the words fell from Kyouichi and Komaki's lips at the same time, looking at the changing and dimming sky.

Peace at last...or NOT.

Komaki relaxed her arguing stance and craned her head upward to gaze at the appearing stars better. Upon seeing her slacking form, Kyouichi moved closer. Out of the corner of her eyes, Komaki saw his movements and got ready to retaliate if anything happens, never expecting the evil hands aiming for her cheeks. _**Stretch**__..._

"You snooze you lose, Tomboy." Standing up quickly, the gangster leader lazily strolled to sit next the smiling Tatsuma Hiyuu.

"You'll pay for that, gangster boy!" Komaki tried to claw at the grinning Kyouichi's face but can't because of the huge bulk of her admirer, Daigo, blocking her way.

"Sakurai. Calm down."

Aoi sighed dramatically and muttered, "Those two will never change..."

Emo ninja man shook his head in agreement. "You are right, Aoi-sama."

Amidst all the yelling from the two, Tatsuma laughed internally. _What a weird couple_...

_**Note: **__I just like the Koma-Kyou tandem, may it be romantic, platonic, friendly or brother/sister relationship. They bicker like an old married couple. Tee-hee!_

_All errors are mine and I blamed spelling errors on WordPad, which is the application I used in making this. My Microsoft Word got deleted...curses. _


	2. Tales of Mismatch 1

**Tales of Mismatch**

_Summary: Due to an oni's "special" attack, everyone's in for a loopy ride._

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Tokyo Majin. It belongs to its respective owners. And this is a fan fiction...yes...fan! fan, I tell you!**_

_**Note: I am a crazy and very, very random authoress! Expect the expected!**_

A beam of green light erupted from the mouths of an awkward looking creature. Its fatty body covered by boils and warts, huge single eye hang limply from its socket. It has mouths all over its body and saliva oozing out from them. It was standing from a distance like a brainless mind eating zombie. Its reddish yellow eye was piercing and wild.

The attack from the creature struck the place where the targets once stood but now, safely scattered around the battlefield. Brandishing out each of their weapons, they were prepared to fight the creature called oni, a monster.

One of the oni's targets, a brown haired man smirked and then charged towards the oni, swinging his wooden sword menacingly. While another man with onyx locks tightened the glove on his hand and ran alongside the former, eyes shone with burning determination.

Kyouichi landed a blow on the oni's head while following him, Tatsuma Hiyuu, the latter wearing gloves, also punched the oni's head quite forcefully. Bones snapped and the head aligned itself unto the monster's spinal cord. Blood gushing like sprinklers from its wound on the neck but the monster was still mobile and afforded to land a powerful blow to Tatsuma's middle sending him backwards. A woman with long hair ran hurriedly to Tatsuma's side to ascertain if there's a serious injury.

"Are you okay, Tatsuma-kun?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, Aoi-chan."

Seeing this, Kyouichi wasted no time to land further damages to the monster but his wooden sword was unfortunately caught by one of the many salivating mouths.

_Darn it! _, thought the brunette as he maneuvered his weapon to forcefully shoved it inside the creature's mouth.

"Just let it go, you dummy!" a brusque feminine voice shouted and a flash of straight light whizzed through the air barely managing to cut a bit of the brunette's locks and shot the enemy's wounded neck. A huge boulder soon appeared and crashed into the creature.

"Way to go, Daigo!" Komaki Sakurai, the archer of the group, praised the burly figure of the man who has thrown the boulder. Daigo grinned at his lovely crush (for who-knows-how-long) and stood proudly giving himself a mental pat at the back for a job well done.

The monster managed to get out of the massive boulder and staggered to stand up. It coughed up some blood from its twisted head's mouth, choking.

"Well gee thanks, you tomboy! You almost shot me!" some distance away from the monster, Kyouichi held his bangs between two fingers and glared at the brunette woman with shoulder length tresses standing at the top of some mountainous landscape.

"Don't be a baby, Kyouichi! I wasn't aiming for you; I was aiming for the monster…even though you're more of a monster than that oni." Komaki testily said placing her hands on her hips.

"Tch" Kyouichi decided to end the upcoming argument. Rather than bicker with the woman, they still have an oni to slay. He swung his wooden sword out of the disgusting saliva that had coated it earlier and eyed the weakening oni. Maybe, the blood loss has affected the creature because its stance was sloppier than before.

Tatsuma remained in the sidelines with Aoi, understanding that the oni didn't stand a chance against the five of them. At first glance, it was clearly a handicap match for the monster and he believed that Kyouichi needed to vent his irritation of a certain someone to this oni. He will only assist if something goes wrong but for now, the oni is all to Kyouichi's disposal. The others were also thinking along the same lines as Tatsuma.

Far away from the battlefield, a black van parked and out came two people. Hisui stared at the scene in front of him, already seeing who will win the battle while his female teenage companion was leisurely taking pictures of everyone to her heart's content, saying "this will be a nice scoop!" every flash of her digital camera. But of course, Hisui decided to ignore the girl, knowing that the girl won't publish anything that she'll see here. Her utterances were only caused by habit.

Civilians had already evacuated the place because of the appearance of this particular oni so the only humans left in the area were the seven of them.

While the others looked on and anticipated the final blow from the brunette, Kyouichi seethed inside while glaring daggers at the oni. How dare that tomboy put his precious locks in danger?! It wasn't as if he's vain or something but he loves every part of his body and even though, he carelessly brawls with any gangster that challenges him at least it's his fault if any of his parts got bruised or anything. It's his g** d*** body for goodness sake! And for the love of anything that is feminine, why does he always get single out by that she-witch!? If he didn't know any better, he thinks that that woman has the _hots_ for him…errr…come again? Did he just think that?

_No more caffeine for you, mister_… Kyouichi sarcastically said to himself, straining his legs to spring forward for the final blow.

The oni was on the verge of exhaustion and death. From its foul mouths, more saliva oozed out and the ghastly color of green smoke…until the smoke suddenly turned from green to blood red then at last, short exhalation of pink fumes.

Tatsuma and Aoi looked at the oni warily, feeling something amiss. Hisui noticed the weird changing of colors of the monster's foul breath and was about to yell his apprehension but too late, Kyouichi sprang forth towards the oni, aiming the powerful final attack which will slay the monster.

The wooden sword pierce hard in the eye of the monster and a shrilling sound of death came out from the mouths of the oni. Blood gushed out from the oddly deflated eye and bathed the warrior near it in red. The pink fumes and dusts scattered towards the clearing where the seven people were.

Everyone rub their eyes furiously trying to get the pink dust out of their eyes. Each of the seven people opened their eyes slowly…squinting and then…widening…


	3. Tales of Mismatch 2

**Tales of Mismatch 2**

**Summary: **Due to an oni's "special" attack, everyone's in for a loopy ride. The overused pairings mess-up cliché!

**Disclaimer: **Own nothing. Beta'ed by me so there's lots of grammar errors in there**.**

_The seven people in the clearing rub their eyes furiously trying to get rid of the dust that had penetrated their sights. One by one, they opened their eyes and just stared dumbly at the first person in their peripheral vision._

_They stared and blinked and again, repeated the process all over again, not believing the sight in front of them. _

The brown haired lad was the first to snap from his stupor. His eyes were strangely glued to the apple of his sight. Slowly stalking towards his prey and suppressing an appreciative growl, so as not to startle said prey, his right hand landed on the feminine shoulder of one female brunette.

That action alone also woke the dazed Komaki up and she stared at the hand suspiciously. The focus of her eyes were on his fingers then, climatically, her sight going upwards until it stop at the smirking face of her hated person. Blanching at the totally romantically hopeless stare from the male, Komaki tried to shrug his hand off but to no avail. It was like metal to a magnet. That kind of unwanted attraction…

"Hands off, Kyouichi. What's wrong with you?" Komaki hissed, not liking the touchy-feely attitude of the formidable gangster.

"What's wrong with me?" Kyouichi's expression turned confused and then thoughtful, almost like a puppy begging for food. "You are, Kom-chan…I feel lost without you around me."

In retrospect, that sentence was sweet yet very suggestive but coming from the mouth of one wooden sword-wielding badass Kyouichi, it was all suggestive and being a feminist to the third degree, Komaki can't help but see red. Definitely, **blood** red.

Komaki was about to punch Kyouichi's face however, a voice stop her. Well, the voice didn't literally said stop but it was whom the voice came from that stop the supposed to be untimely death of Kyouichi's perfect nose.

"Aoiiii-chaaaan!" strawberry lover Tatsuma yelled happily, his black orbs shining with admiration to the oblivious healer, who was also eying someone from a distance. "Hey! Hey!" He was at her side, trying to catch her attention by waving his hands in front of her face but to no avail, Aoi was still on her own la~la~la land.

"My lovely Aoi…" His whispers were like gentle caresses on silk and that cool feeling of strawberry milkshake down your throat.

"Oh…" Aoi sighed dreamily, however, for a different reason.

On the other side of the field, the powerhouse of the team Daigo was still rubbing his eyes from the pink dust. "Tsk. Komaki, my love. Are you alright?"

No answer.

"Oi, everyone. You still there?" He asked again, this time addressing everyone from his team. Earning no reply from his question, he risked and opened his eyes; prepared for the worst case scenario. And what he saw was…the opposite.

The ideal Japanese woman of his life…

In Daigo's mind, the image of shaggy, brunette hair was replaced by the finesse of black and straight locks. Petite and strong physique gone from his mind's heart; tall and slender has become on his top pedestal. The cheeky and straightforward grin from his past changed into regal features of sophistication of the now.

His eyes still affixed, he slowly approached the unsuspecting person; yet, his pursuit was stop from a weight that had clung to him.

"D-Daigo-san…I didn't know you were this attractive before…I love you!" said the weight.

If someone had told the journalist before this incident happened that she'll find the burly man, Daigo, attractive and have the guts to actually confessed to said man, Kyoko would have laughed it off and sarcastically rebuke. _Well, I should ask Kyouichi to train me in the ways of the bokken (wooden sword) so that I can stand a chance against Komaki and steal Daigo from her._

Kyoko held on her man's perfect big strong arm and rub her head against those muscles like a cat would do to a favorable house guest's legs. "I don't care if you love Komaki, my dear Daigo! I even thought that I like Kyouichi but then, you came along and now, I have clearly seen with eyes unclouded that we are meant to be!"

"A…well, that's nice…but I'll be honest with you…I don't love K-Komaki anymore and…I don't know. I just don't feel anything for her and I'm really sorry but I only looked at you as a friend and I love someone else now." Daigo said calmly, giving the clinging girl an uneasy smile and then shifted his attention to the object of his desire who was also looking quite enthralled and enchanted.

"That's fine!" Kyoko's exclaimed perkily, her eyes were a bit frightening, if not manic. "You can learn to love me someday, my dear Daigo!" And her face resembled a smiling fox. "Only me, Kyoko-chan."

"Hey bitch! Let Daigo-kun go!"

Hisui looked at the black van with a frown. A sudden urge deep within him has awakened but years of practiced calm and nonchalance has given him a bit of control against that urge. In his moments of meditation, he was forced to see that he was not unlike everyone.

He can be vain sometimes. Although, he still valued the importance of the beauty of the inner self. However, there was times that he, if not often, find himself appreciating one's good look in the mirror.

And the same tragedy applied here when he opened his eyes and fortunately, or not, found himself fascinated by the image of himself reflected on his black van's glass window.

In the back of his mind, he knew that this was the effect of that blasted oni's last resort attack and he was worrying like a mother hen over his mistress' safety. If only, he can looked away and checked on Aoi's situation but the force of self-appreciation was too great to fight that Hisui decided to relax his mind to formulate a plan of action and enjoy the dastardly good view.

**Author's note:**

So, what do you think of the jumble of pairings I made and the OoC-ness? Toss the canon out and bring in the crack! Cracks are good to the heart and mind! I am one of the living proofs of that! Hehe. Hate it? Love it? Review your hate or love!


	4. Tales of Mismatch 3

**Tales of Mismatch 3**

**Summary: **Due to an oni's "special" attack, everyone's in for a loopy ride.

**Disclaimer: **Own nothing. Beta'ed by me so there's lots of grammar errors in there**. **

"Arg. Stop following me, Kyouichi! I've got important things to do other than fending off your creepy advances! Seriously, did you bump your head when the oni sent you flying away?" the brunette archer stalked from the brunette swordsman, flailing her bow rapidly to shoo said male away.

"Where are you going anyway? What's more important to spending some alone time with me, Kom-chan? You know, I already knew way, way back then that you were frequently on my case because you got the _hots_ for me. I'm reciprocating that love, you idiotic and _lovable_ woman! So what's this hard to get method you're pulling on me?"

Komaki stared at him disgusted. "Gross. Just back off alright! I don't want _Tatsuma-kun_ to think that I like you or anything. That'll be disastrous." There was a far-away look in her eyes, fantasizing in her own world.

"Tatsuma? That strawberry milk-obsessed fool! Can't you see that he doesn't love you! Heck, I bet gazillion dollars that he loves strawberry milk more than you, my sweet! He'll only hurt your heart but me…me! I'm here for you and I love you, damn it! Can't you feel my burning longing for you…?" A dramatic pause. Kyouichi's eyes stared unblinking at his love interest's, letting her read him like an open book; vulnerable and defenseless.

If Komaki was a lesser woman, she would have swooned and consoled the young man of reciprocating those emotions. However, she was not and she was under some loony dust delusion or curse so she just passively punched Kyouichi's face and off she went to her strawberry-milk loving prince.

Back to the "prince", he was still trying to get his princess' attention but was being ignored by Aoi who minutes ago was with him, but now was also clinging on another man's arms while glaring daggers to another clinging girl.

He would have found this a bit amusing if he was on his right mindset however, he felt extremely ticked off because his Aoi-chan wasn't clinging on him but on another.

Instead of being mad at the girl, his ire was redirected to the uneasy man who would rather be somewhere else instead of between two pretty girls, clearly fighting over him.

"Stop touching him! I saw him first, bitch!" The glasses-wearing girl tugged on the burly man's arm.

Not wanting to be beaten, the long haired beauty Aoi also tugged back, very possessively. "As if, you glasses-whore! I know Daigo-kun loves me more because we've been through a lot!"

"Bitch! He's mine! And I know more of him than you, I bet! And you already have Kyouichi and Tatsuma! I don't even know why I was jealous of you being so mushy-mushy with Kyouichi before but I'm clear now! Daigo…Daigo is the only one for me! So, stop hogging all the men, you…you slut!" Another tug.

"You can have those other men! Just leave Daigo from your silly delusions because he's mine…mine…mine! And…Daigo…Daigo loves me, not you! Get that straight to your thick skull!" And another tug.

Daigo looked confused and tried his best to pry away from these girls and attend to his lonesome and ideal woman, he said calmly, "Look, you girls are really pretty but I really love someone else now. And no, not Komaki-san although, I love her now as a sister, just like I like the both you as friends/sisters. So, could you let me go?" He offered a small smile.

Both girls stared at him and he thought that they finally understood his feelings, but, suddenly, their eyes were filled with unadulterated adoration that even frightened the big man.

Due to selective hearing and ogling at the man's smile, the only things they heard were the words…_really pretty…I like…_

Almost simultaneously, the girls looked at each other and shouted, "See? He likes me!" and continued to bare their fangs at each other like rabid doggies fighting over a chunk of meat.

Tatsuma was nearing his limits. He was just looking at his love professing her love to another and although, it hurt, he can't blame her because, you know, he's madly in love with the girl. So, in his eyes, the one who was to be blamed was the man trying to steal her affections away. And though, he knew he was against violence, like above mentioned, he was _really _nearing his limits and the sight of Aoi clinging on Daigo was not helping his no violence policy.

The black haired young man tightened his gloves and glared at the oblivious man who wasn't even paying attention of the murderous aura overflowing from the pissed off Tatsuma. He tried to reach her again with his words.

"Aoi-chan…Aoi-chan…Listen to me, get away from that vile man because he will only hurt you! He's the worst kind of man, Aoi! He's a player! He'll only break your heart! See! He's got another girl clinging to him! Daigo is a playboy, Aoi! But I'm not. I'll protect you to my dying breath and I will love and cherish you forever! You are number one to me! Even above strawberry milk and my life, Aoi!" Tatsuma pleaded but his words fell only to deaf ears. The two girls were still arguing of whom Daigo loves more.

Shaking his head and renewing his resolve (to kick Daigo's butt), he was about to kick the ignorant man's face but instead he stumbled a bit from the force that collided on his back.

"Tatsuma-kun!" Komaki, the tomboy-ish brunette, was hugging the male from behind with a toothy grin. "What's up? You look handsome as always!"

Tatsuma looked behind him and suppressed the urge to shake the girl off like she was germs. Despite being obsessively in love with Aoi, he can't bring himself to harm girls because he's a chivalrous, good guy. "Komaki-san, I'm a little busy right now saving my princess from the playboy Daigo."

Mistaking herself to be his "princess", Komaki chuckled and pecked Tatsuma's cheek. "You don't have to worry about me, you know. I don't like Daigo and him being a playboy is impossible! He's like obsess with me or something but oh! Don't you worry; I like you, not him! So, don't act like a jealous boy friend…um…on the other hand, feel free to act like _my _jealous boy friend!"

Tatsuma looked alarmed and shouted in panic towards the still-ignoring Aoi. "It's not what it looks like Aoi-chan! That was just a friend kiss! Yes, friend-kiss because Komaki and I are just friends! Aoi-chan…Aoi-chan…"

Komaki pouted and muttered, "Not Aoi-chan…say Komaki-chan, Komaki-chan. And…" Stares at the spectacle of Daigo being fought over by Aoi and Kyoko…"As you can see, she's into Daigo. And we could be more than just friends, you know. I'm pretty much convinced that you're my soul mate, Tatsuma-kun! Why fight against fate?"

"Because fate is rooting for us to happen, Kom-chan." Komaki felt herself being removed from the black-haired man's back, who breathed out a sigh of relief, and into the arms of the love-crazed Kyouichi, who was charmingly sporting a bruise on his cheek.

"Let me go, you bastard! Stop butting into my moments with Tatsuma-kun! You want another punch to your ugly mug again?" Komaki wildly tossed from the gangster's embrace while glaring at him.

Kyouichi glared fiercely at Tatsuma who, unlike the ignorant Daigo, felt the pressure of killing intent from his brunette male friend. They stared at each other, albeit Kyouichi was giving a death glare and Tatsuma was cautious.

Tatsuma sighed and held up his hands in surrender. "Kyouichi, seriously, I love Aoi-chan, not Komaki-san so, let us not fight please? As far as I'm concerned, Daigo is the one to be beaten to a bloody pulp for even thinking of _seducing _my Aoi-chan." He said diplomatically.

Mocking Tatsuma's tone, Kyouichi brought out his wooden sword with difficulty because of Komaki who was still trying to break free from his hold. "As far as I'm concerned, you're the one _seducing _my girl, Tatsuma-_kun._ And for that, prepare to be beaten to a bloody pulp!" Then, Kyouichi crushed his lips to the unsuspecting female brunette which frankly, stunned her and charged forward with expert ease towards his love _rival._

Said love rival, defended his self while adamantly refusing the brunette male's claim on his seducing of Komaki.

"She's just a friend, Kyouichi! Honestly, for sanity's sake, I don't like Komaki-san that way! I love Aoi-chan! And for the love of strawberry milkshake, I need to beat Daigo up for being such a player to what's mine!"

"Damn it! You're saying that now but I know how lethal my lovable woman's charms. I just need to hit you with this stick so that you'll forget everything about her and shipped you off to North Pole!"

Kyouichi was attacking while Tatsuma was defending. Because of the physical battle between the two men, the two girls who were having a heated verbal fight stopped and looked at the scene.

Kyoko huffed and crossed her arms, "How childish of them to get physical like this. They're ruining the atmosphere between me and my love."

Aoi nodded and also crossed her arms. "Fighting is not conducive to a romantic atmosphere. It sucks the fun out of love…me and my poor Daigo can't even get a moment's peace."

Glare.

Kyouichi shouted the F-word to Tatsuma who only shook his head and chastised the man for his choice of words.

The glasses girl also shook her head but this time she said almost to herself but still, audible to the black-haired girl.

"I can't understand why Kyouichi-san and Tatsuma-san won't just admit that they're madly in love with each other…Komaki-san? What a lame excuse."

Aoi nodded and agreed. "If they could just be honest, that'll be conducive to a romantic atmosphere."

While the two girls' were occupied with the brawl between Tatsuma and Kyouichi, Daigo silently sneaked away from the place and went, at last, to his beloved. Passing by the stunned Komaki who was still looking unseeingly at space, Daigo trudged on unnoticed by his two fan girls. They were the only people there because of the earlier attack of the oni so the place was still deserted.

Feeling a bit playful, he approached his love almost like a ninja would stalk a prey, and pounced.

**Author's note:**

Ohhh…Daigo~ *grins* I love making these characters OOC! I apologize deeply if I made the two girls into wild, rabid fan girls. lol Who do you think gets the trophy for being the most OOC of them all?


	5. Tales of Mismatch 4

**Tales of Mismatch 4**

**Summary: **Due to an oni's "special" attack, everyone's in for a loopy ride.

**Disclaimer: **Own nothing. Beta'ed by me so there's lots of grammar errors in there**. **Yeah! Fourth chapter of the five part Tales of Mismatch.

He was still staring at beauty personified in front of him. He can't seem to take his eyes away and even the will to fight was diminishing. Though, in the back of his head, he can still hear his voice of reason snapping him back out to reality, he couldn't stop the blush on his face while staring at himself.

"You look cute when you blush…I like that about you…" he said to the mirror of his car, and indirectly to his self. "You know, this might sound weird to you but when I first laid my eyes on you…I can't stop thinking about you."

_Hisui, snap out of it! This is ridiculous. Being madly in love with yourself! Aoi-sama is in danger, you nutcase!_ The voice of reason in his head shouted, screaming and kicking on the edge of his mind.

Hisui tried…he really did but his eyes remained open and staring in a blissful daze at his reflection. If by any chance or miracle, someone could just shut his eyes so that he could tear away his sight from his reflection, he'll be forever grateful and maybe he could think straight again without the distraction of mirrors!

And as if someone heard his thoughts, he felt darkness enveloping his sight and he also felt large hands covering his eyes.

In the darkness, his voice of reason became loud and clear, struggling to smother another voice which urged him to flipped off the hands blocking him from the sight of his loveliness.

"Guess who, love?" A voice distinctly male whispered huskily on his ears and Hisui shivered, no…not in delight but horror. He asked uncertain, although he was sure to whom the voice belonged to because of the group's long history together. "D-Daigo-san?"

"Bingo. You are really smart, Hisui-chan! And pretty too…so perfect!" The big man said this in a worshipping and sickeningly sweet tone that made the usually detached man almost suffer from cardiac arrest.

"You may unhand me now, Daigo-san. This is beginning to feel really uncomfortable."

"Aw~ but I love it when I'm this close to you, Hisui-chan…You smell very nice." Daigo cooed while sniffing the other man's hair.

Alarm bells rang inside Hisui's head and as expected from the man whose well-verse with martial arts; he took the bigger man's hand and flipped him off of him using a judo throw…

And ran away from the car's mirrors and Daigo. Not seeing his reflection was least of his worries. His self-preservation kicking in, Hisui almost forgot about his undying love for himself just so he can escape that freaky semi-hug from behind, Daigo did on him a while ago.

He panted and upon calming his nerves, looked at his surroundings. He gaped at the scene before him and he was befuddled. Why was Kyouichi and Tatsuma fighting while the others just looked at them and not stopping them?

He was about to stop the two teens when out of the corner of his eyes, he saw the massive substance that is Daigo running towards him like a manic love-sick loony or an over-exaggerated version of him on his love mode for Komaki but this one is too much on the obsessive, psycho side.

Hisui shivered.

"Daigo-san! Stop this nonsense already!"

"But Hisui-chan..you are the ideal Japanese woman with that cute regal face of yours and that long black hair of yours and…and…you're so sophisticated and that's a turn on!" Daigo was still running towards Hisui and the older man just wanted to smash something when he heard those words.

"Kami-sama! I'm a guy, Daigo! A man, for Buddha's sake!"

"But, my Hisui-chan…nobody's perfect (1), you know."

Horrified, Hisui only did what he thought was the best thing to do and that's to run. Run and run! And not just the random running thing but running towards the fray between Tatsuma and Kyouichi.

"Wait for me, my lovely!"

Upon hearing those creepy words being shouted, Komaki snapped out of her daze and fumed. How dare that…that thing steal her maiden kiss? She saw that the jerk-face was attacking her beloved and that only fueled her desire to put several holes on the swordsman's body.

She scanned below and picked up her discarded bow and took up her stance to fire her arrows against Kyouichi.

Not only Komaki was snapped back to reality but also the two females who happened to notice that their Daigo was not with them but was far away chasing after some black-haired guy.

But even though their logical minds knew that Daigo was running after Hisui who was _biologically male_, in their twisted vision they can see the man they love after a woman in a cheesy romantic chase-scene with a setting usually near sea side and that only made the two women extremely and violently jealous.

Aoi and Kyoko glared at each other and for some moment, a silent agreement of a truce was made between them. The enemy right now is the woman (guy) their Daigo was salivating after.

Hisui was still running towards the group and away from Daigo. He saw Kyoko and Aoi running towards him and the voice of reason in his head mentally heaved a sigh of relief upon seeing that his mistress was safe. Thankfully, Hisui was glad that the voice of reason is winning against the other voice which was now like a buzz at the corner of his mind.

Hisui suddenly felt a chill running down his spine. Looking behind him, he could see that Daigo was gaining momentum and his huge arms were spread out to either catch him or give him a bear hug. And that only intensified Hisui's fear. He pushed himself, adrenaline kicking in and focused in front of him.

However, he regretted that deeply because from that distance, he could see the crazed look from both Kyoko and Aoi, but on the contrary to Daigo's, their's were out for blood. His blood!

Aoi and Kyoko tried to tackle Hisui like in those American football games but with his quick reflexes, he was able to dodge them and still wildly run away from Daigo who side-stepped his fan girls, his stare still fixed on his ideal woman.

"Ouch…" Aoi mumbled softly while standing up from the failed tackle.

_So sorry, Aoi-sama~ _Hisui's conscience loudly shouted but he was still on survival mode so he kept on.

"Daigo-kuuuuuunnnn~" Kyoko dramatically shouted from her sitting position while waterfall of tears ran down on her cheeks.

Hisui was several feet away from Tatsuma and Kyouichi who were fighting. He could now hear their voices shouting at each other.

"Take it like a man, Tatsuma! Don't just defend there like a sissy ninny! Damn, first, you want to steal my girl and now, you made me say the words sissy ninny; I'm going to fillet you!"

"B-but Kyouichi, you said the words sissy ninny by yourself! For the hundred times, I love Aoi, not Komaki! And…I doubt you can fillet me with a _wooden_ sword…"

"Bastard! I'm going to shove my sword up your…"

A female voice hoarsely interrupted. "No one's going to shove anyone's anything while I'm here, you bastard! Get your damn self away from Tatsuma-kun! You…you…homo!"

Several arrows went sailing through the sky and towards Kyouichi who dodged them. Tatsuma was shocked and Kyouichi saw that opportunity to land a blow to his black haired friend's stomach.

"How dare you hurt him?" Komaki fired her arrows continuously at Kyouichi who was evading them with a bit difficulty.

"F*** woman! Don't misunderstand ok? I'm hundred percent straight unlike that bastard. And damn it! You're the only one who could turn me on, ok? So, stop acting like a jealous housewife because I'm faithful! Faithful, damn it!"

Hisui was so close to the battlefield that he tried to turn his body away from a passing arrow which graze his shirt but did not wound him. Unfortunately for him, Daigo was none the wiser who just kept on gaining and gaining more speed and at the last moment can't stop…

Hisui was faced towards the hulking mass who tackled him and with a loud "Omff", everything stop and silent at once.

**Author's note:**

From Ranma ½…A male neko spirit was looking for a bride and saw this guy who liked a girl on the beach and you know. He asked the guy to be his bride and the guy was like "I'm a guy! (Otoko da!)" And the neko was like "Nobody's perfect" Lol. Love that scene, especially the huge caption of "Boy Meets Boy"! Hilarious. XD

Hisui X Daigo…not for the faint of hearts. Lol, poor Hisui. It's just that he's the type of character you wanna bully in stories, or is it just me?

Hisui: Evil woman…

*chuckles* so, what do you think? Not so funny? Reviews are welcomed, as much as flames or explosions, yeah! *showing signs of Deidara-ism*


	6. Tales of Mismatch 5

**Tales of Mismatch 5**

**Summary: **Due to an oni's "special" attack, everyone's in for a loopy ride.

**Disclaimer: **Own nothing. Beta'ed by me so there's lots of grammar errors in there**. **Last part for Tales of Mismatch. Enjoy.

Komaki halted her attacks on Kyouichi. Both of them looked at the pile of Hisui and Daigo almost between them, a horrified expression painted on both brunettes' faces.

Tatsuma recovered from the blow immediately but he paled at the sight before him, trying to keep his stomach from heaving the strawberry milkshake he drank awhile ago. That'll be a waste of a darn good strawberry milkshake!

Aoi and Kyoko were rooted on their places from their slow trek back to the group. Kyoko looked shocked and excited while Aoi shrunk back, a very becoming blush on her pale visage.

"This will be a nice scoop!" Kyoko's gleeful exclamation echoed throughout the place, bringing a sort of normalcy to an otherwise, not so normal day.

And like a domino reaction, Kyouichi cursed loudly.

"What the hell?"

Everyone in the clearing could almost hear something broke. It was either the pink-fume effect of the oni or Hisui.

Hisui pushed Daigo off of his body and both males who were involved in the pile (Daigo and Hisui) rubbed their hands against their mouths vigorously. Hisui wanted to cry but his pride wouldn't let him but that did not mean that he could not cry inside. Crying was an understatement, he wanted to wail and throw a tantrum but what's done is done and he was unfortunately, one of the sacrificial lambs that broke whatever loony effect the oni held over them.

Daigo could not believe himself. He rubbed his mouth vigorously but not as much as the older man did. Even though it was through some weird circumstances that he lost his first kiss to Hisui, it felt kind of good…to be kissed by someone. But hey, Daigo may have liked the kiss but he did not want an encore. He only wanted and needed Komaki's kisses!

And slowly but surely, the day's events replayed in everyone's mind.

"Oh no! Komaki! I love you! Believe me!" Daigo shouted to the archer with tears sidling his eyes but his pleas were unheard by the scorned woman.

"M…my first…he…he…" Komaki trembled and looked slightly teary, her Tatsuma-worship overshadowed by Kyouichi's deed.

"Che…you should be thankful that I even gave you a kiss willingly tomboy. If I hadn't, you'd end up having your kisses stolen by Daigo." Kyouichi casually said, as if what happened earlier did not matter to him. His hands on his pockets, only a faint pink on his cheeks indicated that he also felt a bit uncomfortable of what happened that day.

On the other hand, Tatsuma was a bit amused and disappointed. Amused at his friends' antics and disappointed because unlike Kyouichi, he wasn't able to kiss his princess and the oni's effect was the perfect opportunity for it too! He shook his head and lamented his good guy personality. Good guys seldom get the girl or the kiss.

"I wonder when the next chance will be…" He mused to himself, trying to remember what type of oni they killed earlier.

Aoi bowed a couple of times to Kyoko. "I'm sorry, Kyoko-chan for being so mean and calling you bad names. I'm really sorry. I really am."

Kyoko held up her hands and said uneasily. "Likewise Aoi-chan. I didn't mean to be nasty or anything and whatever I said while I was being crazy, forget about it!" She recalled mentioning Kyouichi being her crush and Kyoko was a bit grateful that the sword-wielding guy didn't hear her…so embarrassing. If only she could make Tatsuma and Daigo keep her secret…A strange glint reflected on her glasses.

After apologizing more to her glasses-wearing friend, Aoi walked towards Hisui who was still obsessively rubbing his mouth while glaring daggers at Kyouichi who was not paying attention. Aoi could understand the glare after all, the brown-haired gangster was usually the one who comment quite rudely in this kind of situation but it looked like Kyouichi was kind of off.

Kyouichi's face was looking at the side and from what she can see, avoiding Komaki's teary and burning eyes. Burning for revenge from what Aoi could interpret. After staring at Kyouichi, Aoi let her eyes lingered to Tatsuma who was also staring at her.

Aoi blushed and looked down right away. "Oh…" Now, she could remember how she ignored the man's sweet words to her while still on her Daigo-love-mode. Her heart beat frantically in her chest, wishing badly that what he said to her was not due to the oni effect but she knew that that's wishful thinking. She kneeled beside Hisui and put a consoling hand on his shoulder. "Thank you, Hisui-san, for…you know." Blush still on her face but now, for a different reason.

The word "sacrifice" hung on the air between them.

"Y-you're welcome, Aoi-sama. Anything for you." Hisui muttered, his tone quivering a bit from his suppressed sob.

Hisui tried his best to appear gallant but he could not help it. He'll either break down or kill someone and the latter sounded so good to him right now.

"Maybe, you should lay down a bit. And therapy sounds nice, ne?"

Hisui nodded at his mistress' suggestion and went to his car. Pausing to admire his reflection, Hisui smiled grimly and cursed off the words 'French' and 'kiss'. They should not be put together in a sentence. Never.

Seeing that Aoi was alone, Tatsuma approached her. "Crazy day, isn't it?" The black-haired guy asked the black-haired girl.

"Yes." Aoi replied and nervously played the hem of her skirt, feeling awkward around the guy who was awhile ago confessing his undying love to her but now, was back to his laidback smiling self. It was so hard to read what he thought of her and her actions earlier. It made her anxious.

"Want some strawberry milkshake?" Tatsuma gave the girl a pleasant smile.

Before she could utter a word, she saw a blur of brown running passed her and away from another brown shaking a bow wildly.

"Stop running around, Kyouichi! You'll pay for what you did, enemy of women!"

"Damn, you're crazy tomboy! It's the oni's fault, not mine!"

Daigo also came running after the two with a huge boulder. "Die Kyouichi!" Followed by Kyoko who was waving a bunch of pictures and her camera, "Promise me you won't tell him, Daigo-saaaannnn!"

Aoi shook her head and smiled sweetly to Tatsuma. "Strawberry milkshake sounds nice."

Tatsuma grinned.

Inside the black van, Hisui sat on the driver seat. He stared emptily ahead and after awhile, let his head rest on the car's steering wheel.

Honking echoed throughout the deserted place.

**Author's note:**

Yes, I like crack (OTP- K x K) but I appreciate canon so I throw in some Aoi x Tatsuma in there. *smirks* And the rest are crack history. Hehe. Love the words 'sacrificial lamb'! Lol…HisuixDaigo… So, are you a canon stick-in-the-mud or like me, a crack what-the-hey-hey person? Or a cross hybrid?

**P.S**: If you thought Hisui and Daigo made out in front of everyone in that pile of limbs and likely traumatized everyone into breaking the oni's pink fume effect…Congratulations! You win a virtual cookie and a chance to give Hisui therapy, if not all of them! And oh…! Strawberry milkshake dates!


End file.
